THE LITTLE BLACK DRESS
Marilyn Monroe once proclaimed that "the body is meant to be seen, not all covered up."
And however much i want to agree with her ... I CAN'T.
The reason being that my body is far from the perfect ones sprawled all over daytime television.
Now, don't get me wrong, i may not be prototypically perfect, but like all middle-aged but relatively young women, i am not so young that i'm prone to embark on a series of changes, but nor am i too old to not bother about my appearance. But really, what i'm truly getting at is the need for clothes, and not just clothes in the human-beings-need-to-cover-themselves sense but rather, the right-clothes-can-maketh-me-beautiful sense.
So yes ... like all young women, i prowl the streets of Orchard Road, rummage through racks of stacked fabrics and buy the latest beauty magazines, all in a bid ... to find the perfect skin.
I know people often talk about being naturally beautiful and while i fully endorse that principle, i'd much prefer to undertake ... what i would call ... slight maintenance, in order to carry off that look-good-but-not-trying style (i said i'm trying, not that i'm really having any success with it).
So anyway, once in awhile, the gods throw goodies out to us undeserving beings on earth. And one of those things might well be the underrated "little black dress". Of course, black used to be a colour of mourning, worn only by nuns, the governess or widows. That was of course, until ... black became a fashionable colour. Thanks to the invention of black white television and the current Film Noir revival, the black dress is now perceived as an emblem of class, style, elegance and sophistication. In other words, black is timelessly classy and "you never can go wrong with a little black dress". But of course, that little black dress has to come in a good cut, because not all of us can carry off Morticia Addams.
Once in a while, you get interesting black dresses by Chanel or Gucci ... but now, good old Nike has crept up on us, when and where we least expect it, bringing on a lil black tennis dress inspired by Audrey Hepburn's own style.
And the lucky girl who gets to wear that dress, is none other than the orgasmic-moaning tennis scarlet herself, Maria Sharapova. I swear, i never was jealous of the woman up till now. Yes, not even when all my my cute guy friends stared into the television, in a bid to catch a glimpse of her unders while she jumps, not even when she won all those big tennis matches, and i wasn't even miffed when she got to cosy up to all those cute hollywood hearthrobs.
Yes ... not up till NOW. Life is tres unfair. Sharapova gets to wear one of the sexiest dresses in the world. WHY OH WHY? Oh me oh my so poor my life??!!
I am too jealous for words so i'll just let the pictures speak for themselves.
And you know what makes it sexier? No ... not that she has that pretty black ribbon to complement her outfit, but the fact that a classy dress is transplanted into a freakin rough-muff tennis game!! Hellooooooo ... since when did strenuous sport become classy??!! Hmph. Growl. Now Sharapova is going to become the "Audrey Hepburn" of tennis and probably become a kitsch item in the next century. Oh life is so unfair...
By the way, these pictures do not do justice to the dress. But that's because i can't find any really good pictures off the net. You just have to take a look at the back of the dress or a video clip of her running around in it to see why i'm getting myself so huffed puffed over this. By the way, i caught a clip of her in it on the Australian news, which was featuring the dress and celebrating her winning match in the US open.
Still ... I bet she only really won because of that dress.
Just see how smug she looks. hmph.
And fyi, there are black sequins all along the top of the dress. How can any dress get any more girlfriend than this??!! And there's this pretty slit thingy at the back, held together by a thin string thingamajig.
So yes. I'm an awfully jealous girl right now, flouting all seven deadly sins.
And if you haven't already figured out ...
I WANT HER DRESS.
